Sometimes bad things happen for a good reason
I’m still around even though I haven’t
written since February. Went back on
chemo February 14th and after I was done I’ve been checking off
the bucket list. This is my 3rd
bought with chemo. This last one wasn’t
hard on me physically but it was hard mentally.
I kept my hair and nails but my mind was
the problem. After I started my chemo in
February I found out an old classmate who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a
month after me had passed away. We had
e-mailed one another during the summer of 2012 when it was our high school
class reunion. She was too ill to make
it and I mentioned we’d make the next one and show everyone bald is beautiful.
We both were giving a good fight.
She died January 2013. For the first time in my life I was experiencing
survivors’ guilt. Why her and not me?
I shut down. In June I told my husband that my CA-125
numbers didn’t go down as much as I’d like them too and this would be it. I wasn’t going to do it anymore and needed a
break even if it meant my end. The good
thing is on that very day and visit with my oncologist I was told my numbers
where good enough to take a break.
So I have spent the last few months
with friends and family. One thing that was on my
bucket list was to go to Comic Con.
Something my oldest sister and I spoke about many times.
So when Comic Con came to my
neck-of-the-woods my husband and I went (he’s such a good husband because this
was not his thing). I drove and looked
all over for a parking spot when a woman got into her car, I turned on my
blinker to claim my future parking space.
She got out and motioned to us she was staying. I then pulled slowly past her when I noticed
out of my rear view mirror she backed out.
I proceeded to go around hoping to reclaim the spot when a car pulled
into the parking lot and took my space.
My sailor swearing talents began and my husband tried to calm me down.
I was now mad and ready to give up. I spent about five more minutes going around
downtown to find a spot. I finally found
one. We walked a block to the convention
center among kids and grown-ups dressed as their favorite super hero. It was crowded and lines circled the
block. We didn’t buy tickets beforehand
so my husband and I found someone with the convention and asked where to buy
tickets, “They’re all sold out,” was the workers response.
I couldn’t believe it after all that and
now they’re sold out. Through my peripheral
vision I saw a young man had just walked out of the convention center. He
tapped me on the arm and handed me a ticket, “Here I have an extra
ticket.” I asked how much was he selling
it for (my Hubby and I were constantly being approached by scalpers). He said, “Nothing,
take it.”
I hugged him and said he had no idea
what this means to me. He just wanted to
leave and didn’t care for recognition.
My husband said, “Go in and check it off your bucket list.”
My husband waited outside as I was able
to go inside and see what this was all about. I only spent an hour but was able
to see and hear local writers that I knew and even ran into someone from my
nanny days in Hollywood. I wished my
sister was there because she would have loved the art work.
When I got out of the center my hubby
was patiently waiting and as we walked to our car he said, “Do you realize that
if that lady let you in her parking spot you would’ve never have ran into that guy who
gave you a free ticket. You didn’t give up. All things happen in its proper
time and even bad things (the lost parking spot) happen for a good reason (free
ticket). We sometimes just don’t realize
it at the time.”
My Husband was right and for the first
time this heavy feeling I had for months regarding my classmates’ death was
lifted. Things happen in its proper time and we may never
understand it but in her honor and others with ovarian cancer I will live life
to the fullest until the very end.
So I would like to let you know don’t
feel despair, we may never understand why bad things happen to us but
sometimes it’s for a good reason.
Go out there…give a good fight and never give up.
