The
War on Cancer
Just the other day I had my 3 month
checkup at my oncologist. You ask any
cancer survivor or one living with cancer this is one of the most nerve racking
experiences someone can go through. It’s
only a blood test (CA-125) but it’s a test that tells you how much sand you
have left in your hour glass.
I remember being upset when I heard
that Elizabeth Edward’s (ex-wife to the idiot John Edwards) stop being tested before
she died of cancer because she couldn’t take it anymore. At the time I thought how could anyone give
up especially when you have young children.
I was naïve and now see her example was in her strength of living up to
the time of her death. I had just had my
surgery (October 2010) to remove all my cancer and started my first chemo, I
was in the fight for my life. This is
what I call boot camp.
You’re learning how to use your weapon
(your mind) and studying up on the guns and ammunition (chemo treatments). I remember walking daily in the cold snowy
winter months, because my oncologist told me I needed too, much like a soldier
drudging in the mud knowing if he/she doesn’t learn these skills it is a matter
of life and death. My Generals were my
surgeon and oncologist. My captain’s were
nurses that guided me through everyday land mines. I did everything they asked me to do. I was a good soldier. I was determined not to have the cancer come
back.
Once you are done with your treatment
and your counts are normal (a CA-125 is a blood marker for cancer and normal is
0-35 I started this journey with over 800) you hope you never have to battle cancer
again. They call you cancer free if your
counts are good for 5 years. Insurance
companies won’t even look at you to insure you if your counts aren’t clear for
10 years.
Much like war, the enemy (cancer) crossed
the lines and came back into my territory during December 2011 as my counts
started climbing and tripling. Chemo
started in the beginning of 2012, what a way to start the New Year. What doctors failed to tell me the first time
around is that once it comes back it becomes incurable which is political
correctness for saying terminal.
I don’t believe in being politically
correct so I asked for the writing on the wall.
When they told me women in my case usually live 1 to 3 years but there
is a small case of women making it to10 I’m sure I turned white as a
sheet. But I told myself I’m not like
other women and cancer will not define me I will define it.
I’m sure I’m not original in this
thinking, but it is something that anyone facing this kind of a diagnosis must
think about. Do you simply throw in your
last grenade or go in full barrels loaded and all the ammo you’ve got. Save your bombs for that last stretch of
beach that is your territory.
You fight every day in this battle
hoping that medical science might help and rescue you, but for now you know you
have an army behind you and you are not alone.
There are others in the trenches and you must support one another until
the very end. Some will go before you
and others after but one day in time the War can and will be won, I believe
that.
I have been doing well and enjoying some
R&R, so when I walked into the cancer center that day I was sure they must
have misdiagnosed me and had the wrong draft card, but I was thrown back into
reality when I noticed a gentleman in a wheel chair. He wasn’t much older than me but I could tell
he was in his last stages. Battle scars were
visible upon his face but I saw a strong warrior. He was there for his chemo cocktail, frail
but fighting.
Most cancer patients have a port (that
is a devise they put in your body to make it easier for you to handle the
needles etc…). I had my first one
removed and I refer to the device as my purple heart because of its shape. I am not trying to compare my fight with the
real heroes of today I’m just trying to state that anyone dealing with a life
altering disease can model themselves with their courage.
They go on fighting for their cause and
have faith in their fellow soldiers. We
must do the same. Even when you feel
your number is up, muster whatever energy you have left and go out there…storm
that beach, you might not live through that battle but your courage will help
win this war!
My Purple Heart
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