CHEMO COCKTAIL ANYONE?

Chemo Cocktail Anyone?

A chemo cocktail is not a new drink from some fancy nightclub in Manhattan, only if it were that simple.  A chemo cocktail is what us cancer patients refer to the different chemicals that they mix to kill those ugly cancer cells.  Unlike an alcohol drink which can make ugly people look prettier if you have enough, a chemo cocktail only makes you sicker before you feel better.  Unlike the alcohol drinks you might have a hangover the next morning but when it comes to a chemo cocktail it’s days of hangovers or a never ending case of the flu. 

When I first started in this venture with cancer I had a different oncologist then the one I have now.  I was not very comfortable with the first onc because she left a lot of unanswered questions and told me to go to the internet for answers. Remember you pay them so don’t be afraid to question them or change doctors if you are not comfortable.

The first oncologist left me shaken, (not stirred, ha!) to where I had to use the power of prayer after internet research.  She pretty much threw big words at me like I was supposed to know what the crap she was talking about.  This was old hat to her but new to me so I had to go to the big guy upstairs for answers. I don’t care what religion you are or if you don’t belong to one I personally believe in a bigger power then myself.  So go for whatever works best for you. 

After I checked the internet and studied the different chemo cocktails at the “bar” I was calm once and I new what cocktail to do and that I needed someone else to guide me.  It helped that the first one was leaving but I then researched on the next and asked questions and am happy with my care.  The following are excerpts from my diary regarding the first time in chemo and its aftermath.  The cocktail wasn’t yummy, but it was lifesaving.

December 2, 2010

First day of chemo, wore pearls and Princess Diana ring my friend gave me.  There’s a book out about a woman who wore red lipstick to her chemotherapy sessions so I followed her example and it helped.  I felt pretty though my insides were ugly.   I could feel the chemo go through me.  I felt pangs throughout my stomach and right breast.  My port is on that side so they checked it for blood but everything was OK.  It was under my right breast that the pain started this whole thing back in September.  Feel weird, tired with anxiety. Scared not sure what to do.  Need sleep but I am scared to sleep.

The internet was helpful and I had learned to eat ginger snaps and chew on ice and breathe mints.  It’s supposed to help with vomiting and taste buds.  I think it worked.

December 7, 2010

I know I haven’t written much but it is a little difficult.  Energy has been real low though the days have been good enough to go for walks.  That has saved me but I seem to not be able to get going until 2PM.  Just to go to the bathroom is a chore, brush my teeth take a bath.  It’s like I need to take a nap in between each minor task.  But I plug along.  I try to keep my tears, the pain and frustration to myself though at times I express them. I keep it to a minimum so not to wear out those that are trying to support me. 

Friends and family are a very important part of recovery.  It was very hard for me since I have always been a very independent person and I think people with any kind of long term illness have a tenancy to go into hiding.  I had to humble myself and realize there was nothing wrong with letting others help especially nurses that were at first strangers but soon became my biggest cheerleader outside of my husband and loved ones.

Sorry I missed a week (I heard from some of you) but the holidays have me tied down as I’m sure most of you are busy.  I managed to push through chemo and buzz cuts that first (2011) time to put up my Christmas decorations.  Doing everyday things and trying to keep busy between the many naps was vital to my survival.  Normalcy is very important but so is rest.

Next week I’ll share what it was like to hear the bomb that the cancer is back and almost dying from the chemo during the second bout (2012).  Until then go out there…listen to what your body tells you and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

 

                   Chemo cocktail and coke is nothing like Rum and Coke

 After my first fight with cancer and "graduating" March 17, 2011.  I wore as much green as possible hoping the luck of the Irish would be on my side